Archive for March, 2014

Truly Loving


So many of us have been told that we are loved. We have also told several people that we love them. But when we say or use the word LOVE, especially in an intimate relationship, what exactly do we mean? Do we mean it as a verb just or do we mean it as an action? This is what loving truly means:

In and for everything you choose to do think of how it will affect your loved one; how he/she will understand it and take it. There are simple things that we normally tend to ignore, but when actually they mean a lot in a love relationship – things like saying have a good day, good night, good morning, how was your day, are you fine and so many others that fall in that category – these mean a lot to your loved one. And if he/she is the one asking you these questions, it shows that he/she is genuinely concerned about your well-being, so be receptive and polite to answer back, it’s a sign that you appreciate the relationship with him/her; it means that you respect him/her.

In this era of the mobile phone, internet, social networking, when he/she sends you an sms, be polite and respond; when he calls you, pick up even thou you are busy, pick up and inform him/her that you are in the middle of something, you will call back, and please do remember to call back. If he/she calls and you are unable to pick, when you find a missed call, please do call back, and politely tell him/her why you missed the call. Just in case you didn’t have credit to call him/her back, when you meet in person, just do acknowledge that you actually missed the call, but didn’t have credit to call back…all this shows the respect you have for him/her and for the relationship you two share.

Social networking, wrongly used is leading to so many problems in relationship. It tends to be disrespectful when you are at home with your loved one and choose to ignore him/her for your computer, your smart phone or your tablet. If you both work, you have definitely missed each other the whole day, so when you go back at home, you should show each other how much you missed yourselves, don’t substitute your would be intimate time with social networking, you are otherwise crowding your relationship.

Don’t ever talk to your loved one in a rude way, no matter what the situation may be, however if it happens unconsciously, immediately do say sorry….and this applies to all situations where your loved one becomes uncomfortable with your behaviour, response, reaction or choice of action, especially when he expressly tells you that what you did or said did not go down well with him/her, say sorry because it goes a long way to show that you respect your relationship with your loved one.

We all have friends and relatives and these always do give us advice concerning our relationships and that advice can come in two ways, either to discourage you or to encourage you into the relationship, but remember, it’s just their advice and the choice is yours to take it or not take it. If you truly love him/her, you should be able to protect him/her (not defend, but protect) from all the negatives that are generated as a result of the advice you receive. When you do this it will definitely show him/her that you truly love, respect, cherish and adore him/her.

Mind how you talk to your loved one, especially in the presence of other people. The way you talk to him/her is the same way those other people are going to look at him or her. Also mind very much what you say in his presence. It becomes something different when you say that you love him and for who he his, but then most of your talking is in praise of other girls who are having very rich boy friends, who give them everything and anything they ask for anytime and how luck and happy they are. This kind of talk simply means that you have an emotional conflict and he may read your words to understand them that if you got a man with more resources, you wouldn’t think for a second to dump him and go with that other man. Remember that what we speak out always speaks volumes about our inner feelings, our hearts, our desires. So if you truly love this one person, mind what you say about him, to him and in his/her presence.

It’s very true that friends are very important in our relationship and we should always have friends, but we should define their boundaries in our relationship. For example, a friend (who may even not be known to your loved one) to call you late in the night when you are with your loved one is disrespect either by that friend or by you who allows them to call you at such a time or both of you.

Another example is such types of friends who will always talk down about your loved one, consider those not your friends but opportunists, who may actually be jealous about the fact that you have someone you love and who loves you back…be very careful and watchful of such ‘friends’….if they don’t respect what you cherish, then they don’t respect you and they don’t deserve to be your friends.

There are so many other small things I can write about that portray true love or lack of it, but to sum it up all, when you truly love that someone and if he/she truly loves you, then there should be respect, which should be mutual. And it’s also very important to know that those small things I mentioned up there, are actually very crucial in strengthening a love relationship, and if you have not been doing them, start now and today, for they are very practical and they do have a more than instant effect on your relationship.

Also remember that love is an action not a verb and that to act love does not require huge resources in form of money or whatever. Acting love begins from within your heart, to your mind then to the physical in form of the words you say to each other, the smiles to each other, the kisses, the touches, the love making, the sharing. When you choose to love someone, you choose to share your life with that someone. Sharing your life with that someone means desire for him/her what you desire for yourself, ALWAYS.

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